Why Having Kids Won’t Fulfill You

Taken directly from Time.com, written by Maria Guido.


Jennifer Aniston, take note. You haven’t failed as a woman if you don’t have kids.

I was struck by the comments Jennifer Aniston made to Allure magazine this week about the badgering she gets on a topic that she finds painful: her lack of children. She tells the magazine: “I don’t like [the pressure] that people put on me, on women – that you’ve failed yourself as a female because you haven’t procreated. I don’t think it’s fair. You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t mothering — dogs, friends, friends’ children.” For Aniston, 45, the topic is fraught with emotion. “Even saying it gets me a little tight in my throat,” she said.

I thought about Aniston’s comments—what many women in their early 40s without children are forced to feel—and then I thought about my own life. In some respects I’m Aniston’s exact opposite: I’m a 41-year-old mother of two who spent my entire adult life telling myself that children were my destiny. I did what society and my family expected, never questioning the choice. But sometimes I wonder how much of the blueprint of my life was drawn by me, and how much was sketched by experiences I had when I was way too young to be the architect of my own destiny.

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Six Reasons Why There Ain’t No “Maybe” When It Comes to Babies

As someone who’s more than happy living a child-free life, I, along with anyone else with the same mindset, are perpetually subjected to the world’s absolute certainty that “it’s just a phase” or “you’ll regret it.” Regardless of your gender, though women tend to be subjected to it more, it’s one of those ABSOLUTE EXPECTATIONS that you must have some babies with your significant other along with your career job, house, and RRSPs. I call BS.

SarahCAndersen-ChildFree

Denied until we die. ~ Comic @ sarahcandersen.com

We’re at a point in the world where we have plenty of choice, from the food supply at the grocery stores, medicines for just about everything, hell there’s even a plethora of choice for what kind of paper you use to wipe your butt! Add on that women are more prevalent in the workforce than ever before, to the point where it’s expected to see ladies alongside men wherever you work and couples can choose whether one, or the other, or both, are working to maintain their lifestyle. So with all this choice available (and accepted by the world), why are babies still such a huge expectation?

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